It is not that easy after all....

Dear Diary,

Feeling a little down... in fact, it has been present since that climactic "down-ness" last weekend. I may have said that I am helpless a few times in my life but this must be the "Mother of all helplessness". I realised that as a person who grew up solving most of his problems in his relatively "problemless" life, I find myself in a real fix. Something I don't exactly expect to be in.

I was then confident but after "a series of unfortunate evnts" and the resulting assessment and "forecasting", I am beginning to feel helpless. Helpless because I may have to make a decision which is downright "brutal". I am not pinning the blame on anyone since everyone plays a role in it and is ultimately responsible for the breakdown. I just felt that I have been too "foolishly" confident and my inexperience and naiveness is all plain to see. I put in tremendous amount of effort but I felt I may have to give up soon. Maybe the effort was utilised wrongly and I dug myself a hole.... maybe...

I desperately need God to guide me although I think my decision is kinda fixed. It may hurt everyone but if we do it fast and quick like a surgical cut, the pain will be over shortly. We need to move on in life and may the future past not hold us down.

I think it is not easy being a young adult in this age. Our parents may envy our comfortable lives but the people around us expect a lot more from us and we need to live up to unrealistic expectations even from some of the closest people in our lives.

Alright... enough whining... time for dinner, maybe watch the Singapore Idol on TV and then start planning how to do my MBA assignment. Sigh... That's life of a guy in the late 20s in cosmopolitan city of Singapore, having a handful of problems which needs his attention and knowing that many decisions made may have lifelong repercussions.

God Bless,

Andrew