Into God's Hands

Dear Diary,

It has been a day of mixed feelings for me. First thing in the late morning, I got a phone call from a pharmacist saying that she was sick. Thank God that I managed to get an unlikely replacement and spared me the trouble of having to replace her at her workplace. Roster coordinating is almost like a 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week duty… sigh…

It is National Day today. They held the parade for the last time at the National Stadium and it was a supposedly nostalgic moment for Singapore. I did not see any of that though. About 2 days ago… on a late Monday afternoon, one of my paternal aunts passed away peacefully. I wasn’t exactly close to her and had not seen her for years.

So this evening, my family and I arrived at a multi-purpose hall somewhere in Bukit Merah… I greeted some cousins whom I have not seen for ages. I doubt I could have recognised them if I ever did bump into them on the streets. Sadly, I have never been close to my paternal cousins. Then again, as I shook the hands of the two sons whom my aunt left… I shared their grief. The photograph of my aunt bore minute resemblance from the remnant memories I had of her. In fact, her face in the coffin was totally unrecognisable… sigh…

I had some chats with my uncles and aunts. The atmosphere was expectedly sober. At about 7.45pm, the funeral service was conducted by a pastor from Zion Full Gospel Church (Assemblies of God). It was a service entirely conducted in the Hokkien dialect. I could somehow comprehend bits and pieces of the singing and the sermon. Quite surprisingly, my sisters cried softly… okay… maybe not too surprisingly… since most of the females seem to be sobbing. I was downcast too. The first hymn which was sung in Hokkien was just so heart-wrenching. Although the lyrics was about taking comfort in Jesus Christ and trusting Him fully, I felt sad… maybe it was that emotional tune and the atmosphere it was sung in. At least… thank God that my aunt accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour a few months ago.

Apparently, my deceased aunt had told the pastor to help her to bring her beloved mother (my granny) to God before she died. Somehow, I have this feeling that with this aunt’s death… God is going to really draw my daddy’s family to Him. One of the aunts just converted to Christianity recently also. I hope that God will touch the heart of my granny soon too! I also pray that God will touch the hearts of my cousins after the demise of their mother.

Death is such a morbid topic in a conservative Asian society like ours. We don’t really talk about it. Then again, it is very real. It can happen to any of us and our loved ones anytime. When I was working in the hospital for my licence, deaths occurred pretty frequently and I am kinda “immuned” to them. In short, I am devoid of those emotions. However, when it happens to someone related to me, even if I wasn’t very close to her when she was alive… it is a loss indeed.

How often do we forget about people we love, as we go around doing our daily routines and “being” busy every moment? We better cherish the people around us… our relatives and friends… there will surely come a time when we will all part. Maybe we will meet in heaven though… haha… I certainly hope so! May you know God in Christ Jesus.

God Bless,

Andrew