Failure as a Preceptor?

Dear Diary,

I am so glad that my left heel is feeling much better. Last evening, there was an excruciating pain at the front of my left heel which made me so uncomfortable that I tried to walk with the ball of my left foot throughout the dinner with my student and back home. I was limping a little, think she did not notice. Was wondering if it was some form of heel spurs… maybe plantar fascilitis? Suddenly, it just occurred to me that people with chronic pain are really leading miserable lives. Sigh… Last night, I took paracetamol with orphenadrine orally and massaged the painful region with piroxicam gel but it didn’t really work that well. My house’s medicine cupboard has run out of NSAIDS. Was desperately needing some… This morning, it was much better but I thought I better play safe and took a dose of paracetamol with codeine orally and applied methylsalicylate cream. It seemed to work better. I took those special thick cushioning soles from my military boots and placed them into my office shoes. Thank God that there was hardly a pain as the time went on. =) This episode is a reminder that I should never take the comforts of life and good health for granted.

Today, I went to St Andrew’s Cathedral for a moment of reflection before setting off to Singapore Management University (SMU) for a pharmacy practice meeting (PPM). It just occurred to me if I am presenting Christ properly through my actions. While many seem to know that I am a Christian through my mannerisms and actions, I always lack that impetus to share the gospel with them. Be it my good friends or even my students. This is disheartening because I was given so many opportunities to do so but yet I hesitate and lapsed into apathy. Many times, like the usual male mindset, I am also less sensitive to emotions of others. Yet during today’s student presentations during the PPM, I could sense that my student seemed sad. She was trying to be enthusiastic about the presentation but there was that lingering disappointment in the atmosphere.

As I looked back over the past 5 weeks, somehow I think I failed. I had employed the same training method which was highly successful last year, but I failed to realise that every student is different. You may not believe this but she is most knowledgeable amongst all the four students (three of them last year) I ever had. However, her morale seems like the stock market’s bull and bear runs. My method is to load a student with tonnes of relevant information, ask him / her to find the answers for just a couple of questions and giving them autonomy in dispensing as early as possible. I wanted them to experience the pharmacist’s life as much as possible and have a good rest each night without being bogged down by excessive homework. Occasional questions to get them to make use of their researching skills… Is my method right? Not sure if all my students will ever know but I really care for them and biasely proud of them. I love them not so much on their capabilities (they are all very capable anyway) but rather because they share a part of their life journey with me.

After the PPM, I stepped into my previous pharmacy outlet for the first time this year. I had left that outlet late December for my leaves and then my reservist training… So stepping into it again made me nostalgic. The staffs were very friendly towards me, asking how I am now and stuff like that. There were some promoters who even hoped I would come back because they said I am the best! ;-) The pharmacy counter looked yellowish now. Was hoping to maybe see some familiar customers but none appeared. Ate laksa at a familiar stall in the food court and the price was as cheap as before. Went back to the same toilet and the WC’s flushing sensor is repaired at long last! Haha… Sat at the sofa in the HDB Hub and stoned. Something has changed though… they switched the air-conditioning at the food court and the Hub down! Must be to save money lah… =P Took the bus home at 5pm and it was as if history repeated. I think I miss the larger dispensary counter at Toa Payoh branch a little.

Anyway yesterday, a student who was attached to me for just 2 days at Toa Payoh branch last year popped by. Had a nice short chat with her and I shouldn’t be too surprised that she is currently holding a holiday job with a generic pharmaceutical company and giving tuition. Many pharmacy students have highly productive holidays, haha… She will be starting her hospital preceptorship next week. I bumped into her again when I was going home that same evening… talk about coincidence! ;-)

Suddenly, I wonder how is my student from the second batch last year… maybe I will try to drop a SMS or an email to her soon. Haven’t heard from her for a long time.

That’s all for now… Goodnight and take care!

God Bless,

Andrew