Quarter-Life Dilemma

Dear Diary,

Sometimes…. I would love to term it as “quarter-life crisis” but it really isn’t. Firstly, I don’t even know if I live up to a century, haha…. Secondly, it is not a crisis but a dilemma which seems prevalent among my fellow peers too. On Saturday evening, I left my pharmacy at 9.30pm to meet up with a college friend at City Hall. I was running a fever but still persisted in meeting him since he seemed a little distressed about what he should do next for his career. After all, he was formerly from some of the top schools and colleges during his teens, and now nearing the completion of his Masters degree. Career, career, career…. Where is the next destination?

I told him to be brave and just not be afraid to try new things. I guess we are all scared of entering into un-chartered waters and fail. I couldn’t do really much for him except to listen and add some advice, which I thought seemed even pretty relevant to myself. We are not even 30 years old and already hanging in some limbo. I guess there is always this fear of the unknown among the Singapore-educated people. We embarked on a strict regimented grade-oriented one-dimensional way up the academic ladder. It is almost as if everyone is moving in that same direction and the fruits of the achievement are all for everyone to see and relate to.

From 7-year-olds, we took a 6-year education… do well… enter a top school. Then proved oneself within 2 years and get the privilege of doing triple pure science combination (Pure Physics, Pure Chemistry and Pure Biology). Then do well in the Cambridge exams and enter a top college. Better still, do the triple science combination again… the combination which will qualify you for any course in the university and hence delaying yourself from making a committal decision yet again. Enter university after serving National Service in the army… and if you get into a professional course (ie. Medicine, Dentistry, Pharmacy, Law or Accounting), career “looks” pretty straightforward. If not in a professional course, just further study to get a masters or a doctorate. In summary, we never really step out to make real decisions. Hence, many late-20’s university graduates are in what we know as the quarter-life crisis.

Maybe it is all about discontentment, greed and the insatiable nature of young adults these days. On Friday evening, I accompanied Dad for his company’s Dinner & Dance (D&D) at the sixth level of Suntec City. It was a massive event with about 150 ten-men tables. I watched Dad receive his 35-years’ service award on stage. He was one of the two 35-years’ service award holders. There was just one other man getting a longer award of 40 years. Basically, Dad is among the top 3 oldest staff. Such loyalty. In my company, a staff with 15 years under her belt and they already think that she got the sky under her feet…. Hmmm…. It goes to show how time changes the perception of each generation. Maybe because Dad was contented with a slow, steady and consistent career progression in his life as an engineer?

In a way, if one is contented with a certain aspect in life, one is able to devote his energies into other aspects like his family. The problem with the modern generation is that we want to achieve results in everything quickly. Perhaps, the ultimate solution of the quarter-life dilemma lies in prioritizing one’s goals in life, concentrating in making one goal the success he can be proud of. If I were to ask Dad what he achieved the most in life, I am sure he will cite our family as the success instead of his career which really is quite good too. =)

Yesterday evening as I sat at the bus-stop near my house… waiting for the bus…. A period of continuous chimes came from the newly renovated church bell tower just beside my apartment. The church bells ringing plus the European-like design of the our apartment, the church and the convent…. Made the whole place look like a small country town in Europe for that short moment. People were rushing to attend evening Mass… some even bursting into a sprint. Strangely, the people were either the very young or the middle-aged and elderly. The young adults were clearly missing. Talk about quarter-life crisis… hmmm… maybe it is all about the desires of each phase in life.

God Bless,

Andrew