Epilogue

It is a little disheartening to see the ongoing plummet in the visit statistics on this blog, but obviously it is understandable. I am not making a comeback as you can see from the title. It is the epilogue. Initially, I had intended to stop blogging today, which is the last day I can call myself a staff of the hospital. You know the story and how I eventually decided to end my blog prematurely…. So I am adding this epilogue not to describe my days to you but rather to sort out my thoughts.

Maybe it is really time I reflect on my life and what I stand for. Sometimes, life seems to tick away so quickly. Other times, it seems to stay still. My pre-registration colleague representing my hospital, did a fantastic presentation at the last pre-registration training lecture yesterday. She clinched the top award for our hospital, defeating fierce competition from rival hospitals and other training institutions. It just showed to the rest that our training is definitely among the best, if not the best! That lecture kick-started a major change in our lives.

Career

What is a career to me? We can see fellow colleagues choosing jobs they do not exactly like. It may be a scenario where familiarity breeds love, but what if it does not? Frankly, as far as I am concerned… I have not yet made wrong decision (pertaining to career) just yet. From the process of choosing a hospital training, to choosing a job in the retail sector and eventually choosing a less established company (in the field of pharmaceutical dispensing), I never regretted one single bit. Do I know where I am heading? I do. However, I acknowledged that the plans might change because career is not my priority in life. I did not set a target to be a millionaire by the age of 30 years old as a colleague had set, hahaha… I am ambitious but when the more important aspects in life, start to take root, career will make way for them.

Studies

Will I study further? Similar to what I have said about career… it is a priority only initially. There is one degree which I know if I love because of interest and passion. There is another which I know I will do it for the sake of career advancement. Will I ever do them? One year later and I will know.

Friendship

In recent times, I begin to realise the fragility of friendships. In a misunderstanding and an incredible unfolding of unfortunate events, a good friendship was on the chopping board. It got resolved days later but I am totally jolted out from my complacency. How do I view friendship? Though many people will say that I am sociable, I am actually a rather introverted person. I only open up after I know a person better. Besides the 17-year friendship I had with one former schoolmate, I had a handful of really close friends whom I have befriended in each phase of my life. Then again, friendship between guys and girls is totally different. I had no close female friends until I went to the university. No doubt, they make fantastic friends! However, can’t help feeling that friendships between guys and girls are pretty fragile because they will eventually marry and you don’t expect their spouses to permit them to have a close friendship with you. Similarly, if you fall in love with a close female friend and it is not a mutual feeling… You can almost say goodbye to that friendship. Sad but true… sigh.

Love

Frankly, if there is anything I am uncertain. It is this. I used to smile when female classmates predict I will get married earlier than them, asking me not to forget to invite them for my wedding dinner. I used to smile even wider when some guy said how he couldn’t imagine that I am still unattached. He reasoned it out that I am awfully choosy. My parents, my relatives and even some aunties I came in contact with… always expressed bewilderment that I am not attached. In reality, I am not particularly choosy. However, I don’t fall in love very easily. I need to really know the girl well. Sigh… but many times, as we all know… we need two hands to clap. I like a girl but she does not. It is actually more complicated than that. Sometimes, I wish I had a heart of stone so that I will never be hurt. Then again, a heart of stone will also mean the absence of true joy. I haven’t quite got over this rejection… but I know that with time, I will survive. We guys must remember that it is not just we choosing the girls, they have a choice too! They choose us!

Courtship

As I watched two of my Christian colleagues chose non-Christian partners, I had mixed feelings. I am slightly envious because I could have done that way too! Don’t ask me why… but we are really weak humans. I used to be “gungho” and thought I will not fall for a non-Christian. I no longer think that way. Somehow, despite that fateful moment which I actually wanted to compromise… God did not allow it to happen it in my way. It taught me a powerful lesson. Many times, people will say that it is alright that they can marry a non-Christian and keep their faith in Christ. The fact that they choose to compromise the ideal and marry a non-Christian, already show that they can further compromise the status of God in their lives.

Marriage

It is my dream to walk down the aisle of the church with someone I am able to commit my life to her. To be able to make solemn matrimonial vows before my relatives and before God, is a dream come true! It is more than the stained glasses and the ambience. It is about that commitment to the vows before the Creator of the universe. Other than my faith in God, marriage is my next highest priority. To bring up good Godly children is really immense satisfaction. To be able to share the joys and the successes with my wife… that is meaningful. I hope I am not being idealistic but I can really put down my career ambition for a good family. I believe in spending time with the family and while many guys would love to get a beautiful air-stewardess wife, I will not. It is all about the expectations in a marriage.

The Christian Faith

I do not have all the answers in life and I doubt I will ever too! However, I trust in the justness of God and His mercy. There was a friend who asked me why there is suffering in the world. She asked it many months ago. I just got a simple article to shed a little light on it. I was eager to let her read it soon so I passed it to her housemate and somehow, in a twist of unexpected event… her housemate misplaced it in another place! Now, instead of my friend reading it earlier… she will probably read it much later… hmm… life is just so unpredictable. Personally, I am sceptical only of churches which preach the “once saved, always saved” doctrine which I think is wrong. In fact, Galatians 5: 1 – 4 clearly demonstrates that it is possible to fall away from grace. About what’s the difference between an Anglican church and a Presbyterian church… there are differences but not significant ones. =) I pray for continued fervour to evangelise to my friends and loved ones.

May God keep us in touch with our destinies for this present life and the life to come. All the best to you people and goodbye.